Let me start off by saying I never intended to write gay romance. I’ve always been more of an urban fantasy type of girl. But between watching my friend RJ be judged for his relationship and stumbling upon slash fanfiction, well, here I am now. That’s where I got my start, shipping some of my favorite characters from TV shows like Psych, CSI Miami, and House.
Even then, I tended to avoid the naughtier scenes that would bridge the gap between sweet to steamy. Though I’ve written a few erotic pieces over the years (and greatly enjoy my little visits with Flynn and Samuel!) I find I’m more interested in stories involving a deeper emotional aspect to the relationship.
And it wasn’t until I discovered the term asexual that pieces began to fall into place. My teen years were spent reading every book I could get from the library, writing whatever popped into my head, playing video games, hanging with my older brother and his friend, and down at the stable. Chasing boys was the farthest thing from my mind. Not being interested in women, I often wondered where exactly I stood.
What was wrong with me?
While I search for that special connection most people want, there are certain aspects to relationships that aren’t overly important to me. Discovering asexuality and graysexuality opened my eyes. I finally found people like me! But the more I’ve delved into this community, I have found the same concern voiced over and over again; where’s our representation? In recent years, any aspect of asexuality that’s popped up in pop culture is usually erased by the character suddenly falling in to a relationship or their asexuality is written off as a choice of celibacy. And unfortunately, that’s the lighter side of what asexuals, graysexuals, and even aromantics have faced.
There are even those in the LGBTQA+ (by the way, notice the ‘A’? Guess what it stands for!) that say we don’t belong. I’ve struggled to explain to guys what it means to be ace and it seems hard for them to wrap their head around. Mostly because nobody discusses it.
Therefore I’ve subtly shifted my focus and the voice of my characters. I want to write characters like new. I want to read about people who experience love the way I do. Because I never had that in my formative years. So maybe I never set out to write romance (why do we have to call it gay or queer romance, isn’t love just love?), but maybe this is where I’ve always meant to be and I’m perfectly fine with it.
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